I am of the deep belief that Reuben, Nigel and I entered a sacred contract in this life. These dogs have a way of guiding me to the right places at the right time to learn some of my greatest lessons.

Tonight, I’m at the laundromat after Reuben and his dinner had a disagreement, resulting in a mess on the Ruggable that was beyond a spot clean. This came minutes after have a deep, recorded personal confession about the current state of my life. Where I’ve been, who I’ve been, who I’m not, and who I am trying to be. It was an exhausting effort that Reuben can’t even stomach.

It’s been hard to make sense of the last few years of my life. It’s a mystery that I have no choice but to bow to. Despite my very best attempt, I can’t seem to get straight answers from the source of why things are as they are. Why life- shit…why I am like this. In ruthless pursuit of truth and integrity, even at the cost of everything I cherish. And no matter how committed and disciplined I get, there are just some mysteries that cannot be solved. Some things are not for my knowing. Things beyond my tiny human comprehension. And for whatever reason, it makes me feel like a failure- and I cry, even at the laundromat. Then I get a cooler ice cream and remind myself that the tears won’t last forever. Because if I’ve learned anything at all, it was that the one thing I can control is myself. And I like where she is going. Where is that, you ask? To go flip the laundry.

Letters From the Laundromat